The concept of now and later

Time is relative. What do you mean when you say now? You still need to wait awhile to get the thing. It is never instant anyway. But then, why is "later" so easy to use as an excuse? "I will clean up later" "I should do that trip/visit my parents later when I have time?" "I will exercise later." Why do we need to wait for later, instead of doing things now? Why must we postpone the important stuff till later when we have time? When will we have time? Must we wait until all the urgent stuff are done first. But then, urgent matters are always recurring. There will always be something more urgent that crop up, isn't it? The problem is that many people do not have any idea what's important in thier life, until its too late.

Children has no concept of later. They want things now! When they are hungry, they want food now. When they tire, they want to sleep now. When they want to play, they just play! When they want you, they want you now! They cannot comprehend having something later when they want it now. When they want to pass motion, they do it there and then, not after the urge is over.

I think the concept of "later" is invented by parents, who are so good at procrastination (especially me, though I didn't invent "later"). Parents are tired from ever-energetic children. They want children to learn how to wait for something, so that they could have a bit of time. Children have so much energy and demands that parents, who are old and easily tired, can hardly meet up to the rigours of their needs

I find myself doing that constantly saying "later!" when Natalie wants to draw with me, or wanted milk/food, etc...And then she wails and howls as she wants it now. I certainly refuse to go when she wails, so in the end, she still gets what she wants later. Ironical, isn't it? I most certainly never say "later" when she wanted to go to the toilet (waited once or twice, and it was messy!)..I don't know whether it has become a habit for me to do that, but Natalie always have a knack to ask for things after you have just settled down to read, watch tv, eat, drink or lie on the bed! I try so hard not to do so, but "later" always seem to be the easiest answer to Natalie, when she wants something. Sometimes, I don't even think about it at all. Its just like saying "no" first to anything before thinking about it. But she certainly knows when to get maximum attention. At the age of 3, they have learnt to pitch-fit, which means to scream and shout until they get what they want. I understand some people never got out of this stage....Anyway, back to Natalie, always being so loud, she naturally gets lots of attention, especially since we want her to be quiet so that she don't disturb others. Rebecca is ok, as she is only 10 months old, she hardly know better. You would think Natalie is older than she really is, esp since she can argue with you. She isn't so bad, she can be quite understanding too. Just today, she went around on her own initiative saying "I love you" to uncle bob and auntie angie. She even went to tell uncle bob that "its ok, cause grandmama is sick" Auntie Angie has not been feeling well lately, and I guess Natalie sensed that uncle is getting worried.

Its a fine line between "later" and delayed gratification. Delayed gratification is really working at it and reaping the rewards later You don't need to have instant rewards for the things you do. Sometimes, the results don't come until years later, but you keep on doing the right thing. "later" seemed to be my convenient excuse to just sit there for a few seconds more, perhaps to catch my breath. I don't want to have it as a habit, so I am trying real hard to access Natalie's needs and do what she really needed asap.

From my experience, most bosses have no concept of now or later too. They want it yesterday or last week! They certainly seemed "advance" compared to a 3 yr old!